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The ideas used in this strip were first suggested by Jak and Jason Enelow. The Sev Name for Universal Translator (Implausible Translator) was suggested by Josh Pollack.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Implausible Translators There are a lot of reasons why Universal Translators can't work. So many, in fact, that I couldn't fit them all in a single comic strip. For example, when Klingons talk, they're Klingon speech is translated into English. Why then do we hear occasional Klingon phrases? These are just some of the problems involved with such a convenient plot device as the Universal Translator!

Other Punchlines


These comics are created from the winning entries of The Write Your Own Sev Trek Competition. The winning entry was written by Gorshak and was chosen by a panel of judges on the IRC channel #sevtrek. See how the judging session went in the IRC Transcript of the Judging Session (thanks to Erwin de Jong for running the judging session).

Just a few notes on the judging session. Seeing as I couldn't be there for most of it, I have a few comments to make on some of the things discussed. Firstly, Wendy sends her thanks for everyone singing her happy birthday (although I'm not sure if collective singing really works on IRC). Secondly, concerning the argument over whether "does not good television make" is bad grammar... it's MEANT to be like that. Carloff is right - it's like a proverb and that was part of why I liked it.

Lastly, having just read the log, we didn't realise that Wendy's choice of the winning punchline was offered as a birthday present. Frankly, it was eerie coincidence that we got online just after you'd decided to grace Wendy with this gift (I don't know if the fluffy grizzly bear I gave her can compete :-) Wendy thanks Blueberrie for the Birthday Cake!

Oh, and one last comment from your "SevQueen" to Mithandir: "roses, maybe... forever undying, unconditional, 24 hour love and attention definitely!" (sevnote: don't I know it!)

Here are some of the other funniest entries.

Nick "Naraht" Frame

Just smile and nod, smile and nod...


Gainweight to Engineering, I need some convincing technobable on the implausible translators


I hear you all asking dumb questions -- the translator must be malfunctioning.


Tetrion particles, nuetrino emmissions... Just make something up!!


This always happens when I let you improvise...

Brian Kendall

And how can it... oh, you're asking me.


Implausibilty never stopped us before.


There's no place like home... There's no place like home... There's no place like home...


Curiosity killed the crew.

James Zempel

Because without one we'd look really silly looking down at the subtitles.


Computer, end series.


Dunno, it has improved since Quirk used it though, not stalling as much.


Just because I'm the first Captain with hair doesn't mean I know everything!


Once Sevfleet decifered double-speak and legalese, everything else was simple!

Kev Hillard

This is yet another sign that the crew doesn't have enough to do.


I could tell you, but it would lose something in the translation.


Now that's the sort of question MOST captains lose hair over..


I don't know, but your stupid questions make me want to take it offline!

Paul Fitzpatrick

The engineers know, but who can translate them?

Rodney Hrvatin

44 minutes of people going "What?" does not good television make.


It usually translates these questions into a subplot.


Didn't they teach you anything in "Implausibilities and plot holes 101" ?


Surely you've heard of the Prime Dialective?


Our machines are always smarter than we are.


Is it any more implausible than this hairdo?

Liz C.

Same reason that people from France speak with an English accent


It runs off the disbelief suspender.


It just does. Deal with it.

Francis Miranda

Sevspace, what else?

Michael Wilkinson

When will you get it? We are actors and this is a TV show!!!

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