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This week's idea was suggested by Jeremy Short.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

This week: Boldly going nowhere! Why is it the Enterforaprize always went where noone had gone before... to find somebody there. This strip shows the reason why!


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Joona Palaste. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchlines of the Day.


LeoDV

PICKHARD: "Commander LaForge, activate emergency plot device!" LAFORGE: "What's your poison? Transporter accident or character-building episode?"

Haesan

Picard: "I'm boldly going to my Ready Room for a nap!"

Ryyn

Pinchhard: Gaudy, we haven't even started moving yet! Gaudy: We're stuck in traffic sir, solid gridlock from here to Risa!!

Jack Hammerfist

P: On second thought, take us where EVERYONE's been! G: All right, MCDONALD'S!

Darth Supershadow

Gaudy: Oops, had the silly thing in reverse.

Jack Hammerfist

P: Where IS everyone? G: You said NO ONE!

Jack Hammerfist

P: There's no one here! G: Mission accomplished!

Haesan

Picard: "Will any of you be offended if I boldy go to sleep?"

Flagg

Pinchard: This isn't bold enough! Gaudy: Sorry captain, i thought you said baldly so we've just been going in circles.

Avalon (I thought you'd enjoy this, Sevmaster!)

Pinchhard: This is awful! Turn on SEVfeld!

Dave the Explosive Newt

Pinchard: Gaudy, re-route more power to the anti-dullness subroutines, increase our warp profile, shunt auxillary drive to the primary systems and find me some damn earl grey!!!

Roget

Pinch: What's taking so long? Gaudy: Sorry Sir...we've just about been everywhere...

Captain of Andromeda

Pinchhard: Is there some place else more entertaining where no one has gone before?

--mfh--

P: When do we arrive Gaudy? G: Never actually. When we arrive at a point where noone has gone before, it is no longer a point where noone has gone before. So we go on and on and on...

Mark

P: You forgot the inflight movie! G: I'll get right on it, sir!

38 of DD

Pinchhard : Jiggle the mouse. Geordi : Sir, it's not a screensaver.

Number 0

P: Are you sure we are going the right way? - G: Of course. I'm not blind

Haesan

Picard: "Engage means 'Go'." Gaudy: "Whoopsie."

Starlink

P: This is boring, crash us into something!

Haesan

Picard: "Darn it, Gaudy! Turn off the screen-saver!" Gaudy: "Pressing 'Ctrl+Alt+Del' now, sir."

MindMelda

P: What's taking so long? G: You want it boldly, or you want it fast?

neilinoz

P: Stop looking at me like that Gaudy. G: Technically speaking sir, I'm not!

neilinoz

P: On second thoughts, let's do that mission Sevfleet ordered us to do. G: Defending Earth against attack is fairly important sir!

neilinoz

P: Where's the bathroom on this damn tub? G: What do you think you're sitting on sir?

neilinoz

P: How's the transploder? G: Ready to malfunction sir!

neilinoz

P: Are we there yet? G: Keep it down back there!

neilinoz

P: Alright Gaudy, continue... G: Well, after Tryhard punched Piker on the nose, she ran into her room crying....

TEFII

P: Forget it. Lets find somthing to blow up! G: WAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Anon

Can we boldly stop to get a burger on the way?

Johnathan McClure

Pinchhard: Can we get there faster? Gaudy: Boldly going to Engineering!!!

Art DeBuigny

P: Ahem! G: Oh! Engaging commercials, Captain!.

The Star Trek Encyclopedia

Pickhard - Why isn't there anything here? Gaudi - If there were, someone would have already been here

Nodrog_CRC

G: "Permission to sabotage holodeck to generate script fodder?" P: "Granted!"

Griffin

Gordy: Like the screen saver? Pinchhard: Yes, making me angry is definitly bold.

Adam

P: Gaudy, switch to the flying toasters.

Trekmaster

P: Where are we going, Gaudy? G: The Betta Quadrant, sir. Nobody's been there, in any series.

Mark

G: Premission to go where someone has gone before. P: Make it so!

erik

Pinchhard: Well? Gaudy: We're off the air, sir. All the anomalies and aliens head for Forager now.

erik

Pinchhard: Well? Gaudy: He's so impatient during the commercial breaks.

erik

Pinchhard: Let's pass the time with some character development. Gaudy: I'm dating this girl... Pinchhard: On second thought, let's not.

erik

Pincchard: All right, I'll settle for where no one has been recently.

MegaWolf

Pickhard: I thought our in-flight game was Tetris Regurge: Sorry sir, I can't remember the screensaver password

D Kuhn

Pinchard: This is boring! Gaudy: Go ahead and change the channel, sir!

Mike Howell

Gaudy, would you walk over and bang on the viewscreen a couple of times?

Derek

Pinchhard: Anyone mind if I hook up my Nintendo?

Derek

Pinchhard: Does this viewscreen get HBO?

Phil the strange

Pickhard: Can you at least put in a movie? Gaudy: Sorry, but that detracts from the boldly going!

P-feif

Pinchard: Why is this taking so long. Gaudy: You didn't say how fast, sir.

P-feif

Pinchard: Are we there yet? Gaudy: We're boldly flying in circles.

Thomas j. Evans

Pinchhard: This is boring and ratings are down to 47%! Gaudy: Just a second sir, I'll blow up a few plasma conduits to spice things up!

Captain Sulu

Pinchard: Is this the reason why the other 4,235 episodes never aired? Gaudy: Yup...

Captain Sulu

Pinchard: How fast are we going? Gaudy: We're not even moving. It's all a 20th century invention called a "screen saver."

Mark

P: Why did I ever choose this profession? G: For the excitement, sir!

Emily

Pinchard: I never noticed how BORING this is

T'duh

Pinchhard: if we're moving at warp, Why can I see star-streaks on the viewscreen? Gaudy: Continuity dampning fields at maximum, sir.

Ashley

Pinchard: Can't where no one has gone before get here faster!? Gaudy: Boldy going takes time, Captain!

Darkblade

P:why is this so boring? G: correction, boldly boring!

rhea stone

Gaudy: Sir, we are hitting ALOT of space moths.

Corsair

Pinchhard: How much longer? Gaudy: At least two more commercial breaks.

Corsair

Pinchhard: Are we there yet? Gaudy: You should've gone before we left.

Plain Simple

P: Since those filmcrews left the bridge, life just isn't that exciting anymore.

Plain Simple

P: You have the bridge Gaudy. G: But Captain, the responsibilities.

T'Bonz

P: Something's wrong, I don't see anything. G: Beta, give the viewscreen a good kick!

T'Bonz

P: Aw for pete's sake! I told you to fix that viewscreen!

T'Bonz

P: Very funny! Now change from the TV back to the viewscreen! G: But Reading Rainbow is on next!

T'Bonz

P: I can't see anything! G: Welcome to my life!

T'Bonz

P: Are we there yet? G: You're asking me? I can't see anything!

T'Bonz

P: A supernova is looking real good right now!

T'Bonz

P: Where no one has gone before, not where no one would ever want to go!

terri

Gaudy: Are we there yet? Pinchhard: Now you know why i don't like children!

Pizman

Pinchhard: These blasted commercial breaks are way too long!

EvilDevil

Pinchhard: Gaudy, are we at warp 9? Gaudy: I thought you say make it slow...

Samurai

Pinchard: Oh hell....set course for Risa--maximum warp!

Pizman

Pinchhard: Blast it Gaudy, did you BLINDly pick a course?

EvilDevil

Pinchhard: Let me guess... lack of creating writting... Gaudy: Well, no one has thought of a new place...

spiffy

Gaudy: Full stop, Captain. Pinchard: Good. My Dramamine was wearing off.

Finder the Bard

Pinchhard: "Screw this! Let blow stuff up!" Gaudy: "Trouble, here we come!"

spiffy

Pinchard: Gaudy, disengage the screen saver.

Khalas

Pinchhard: How about some technobabble? - Gaudy: Script writer strike.

Khalas

Pinchhard: Report. - Gaudy: Usually we take the scenic tour.

TC

P: Ok, I think the windshield is clean enough; may we start please? G: Just let me check the oil...

Jim McNamara

Gaudy: Now you know what we have to got through when you're not on the bridge.

Jim McNamara

Pinchhard: Gaudy, are you as bored as I am? Gaudy: Captain, Beta's bored and he's an android.

Khalas

Pinchhard: Where are we? - Gaudy: Where no-one wanted to go before!

Jim mcNamara

Pinchhard: OK, new opening: Space, the boring frontier..

Khalas

Pinchhard: Explain! - Gaudy: This ship's already been to all interesting places!

Bishop

Pinchhard: Are we there yet? Gaudy: Well mostly everyone has gone everywhere at this point!

Powerlord

Pinchhard: When I said "no one", I didn't mean native species. Gaudy: Oh, so I should stop avoiding those planets?

Powerlord

Pinchhard: Aren't we there yet? Gaudy: Sorry captain, the aliens went on strike.

terri

Pinchhard: I said where no-one has gone before, not where nothing has gone on before! Gaudy: It looks engaging to me sir.

Jack Hammerfist

P: Where's the new life and civilizations? G: You said NO ONE!

Jack Hammerfist

P: How far is this place anyway? G: Search me, no one's ever gone there!

Jack Hammerfist

P: This is taking forever! G: Why do you think NO ONEgoes there?

Jack Hammerfist

P: Seems like we're going nowhere! G: Isn't that what you wanted?

Jack Hammerfist

P: What's taking so long? G: You SAID "no one!"

Jack Hammerfist

P: Are we there yet? G: Define "no one!"

Jim McNamara

Pinchhard: When did space become so boring?

Jim McNamara

Pinchhard: Gaudy, can we get an in-flight movie?

Jim McNamara

Pincchard: Ninety-Nine bottle of synthol on the wall..

Sierra Leone

P: That image is making me sleepy!

Sierra Leone

P: Damn it! Do I have to look interested?

T'Rowa

Gaudy: Can I change the channel yet, Captain? Pinchard: Alright, alright, but we're not watching Survivor 3000!

T'Rowa

Pinchard: I'm not feeling the whole strange-new-worlds-exciting-exploratory vibe here. Set course to Risa, maximum warped.

The Penguin Weekly

Do you know where we are going, or are you blind??? Oh . . .

The Penguin Weekly

I said make it so, not make it slow.

The Penguin Weekly

P: Did you forget the screensaver password again? G: Sorry, sir.

The Penguin Weekly

It might have been funny the first forty seven times, Gaudy, but navigating the ship in circles can and will get you demoted to ensign!

The Penguin Weekly

I can see why no one's been here before.

Griffin

Pinchhard: Deactivate that screen saver. Gaudy: You see Beta. He can be taught!

Flagg

Pinchard: Where the heck are we!? Gaudy: Don't ask me, I'm blind

Bronny

P: A little faster maybe.

E-Nice

Pinchhard: Stop humming 1000 bottles of beer on the wall. Gaudy: Ok. How about Row,row, row your boat?

Polgara

Pinchard: We've been out here ten minutes. Why haven't we been trapped by an anomaly or something? Gaudy: Writer's block.

Farnell

Pickhard: So THAT'S why no one came here before!

Farnell

Gaudy: Sev Trek's been running for almost half a century, we've BEEN everywhere!

Farnell

Pickhard: Okay, character development it is.

¤Sara¤

Pickhard: Why are we stuck? Gaudy: Don't worry, I'll turn on Beta's SINGING chip for entertainment!!

Dacron

Pinchhard: On second thought, let's boldly go to Risa instead.

spiffy

Pinchhard: Mr. Gaudy, take off the screensaver. Gaudy: Back to flying Windows, sir?

ilfje

P:'Gaudy, I didn't mean AVOIDING places where anyone has gone before!'

Ravenid

P: Character development episode? G: Character development episode.

Ravenid

P: Are we actually moving? G: No, but our new video card make the screen-saver look sweeet!

MJ

Pinchhard: Better change that to somewhere we haven't been this week.

Haathi

P: I changed my mind. Let's go mess with some inoffensive alien culture.

The Great Wizzard

Pinchhard: Ok, that doesn't help. Suggestions? Gaudy: perhaps we should go where someone has been before and still is?

Trevor Raggatt

P: Our mission is to BOLDLY go, Mr Regurge. G: Sorry Captain, I thought you said "BOREDLY" go

fdewaele

G: Sir may I ask what we are going to do there? P: Drop off Measly!

Trevor Raggatt

P: Our mission is to BOLDLY go, not BOREDLY go.

Trevor Raggatt

P: Is there nothing on the sensors? G: Now you know why no-one bothered to go there before!

ScottE Bemeup

P: Why hasn't anything happened yet? G: I believe that's why they call it "space", sir.

ScottE Bemeup

P: Are we there yet? G: No, but we're still boldly going!

Fonn Parr

P: Why is this taking so long G:You forgot to tell Beta what speed to go

8 of 12

Pinchard: Boldy activate soothing listening music! Gaudy: Aye sir, boldy activating!

Nodrog_CRC

Pinchhard: "Ok, now find us a place where everyone knows your name."

Weasel

Pinchhard: Alright, now set a course where someone did go before.

Morgan

P: Anything happening yet? G: We could always wake up Measley and let him touch something.

Morgan

P: Geordi, Why is this sector so dull? G: We could always boldly go back Sir.

littlestar

Pickhard: Why does everywhere no-one has gone before have to be so far away?!

Dave the Explosive Newt

Pinchard: Er, engage. Engage! ENGAGE!!!

Dave the Explosive Newt

Pinchard: Why is this taking so long? Gaudy: It's a two-parter.

Dave the Explosive Newt

Pinchard: We need some excitement - Gaudy, beam some ensigns into space.

Dave the Explosive Newt

Pinchard: Beta, activate your inflatable bottom - we're playing pin the tail on the donkey.

Dave the Explosive Newt

Pinchard: I spy with my little.... Guady: Star. Pinchard: Damnit!

Dave the Explosive Newt

Pinchard: Are we nearly there yet? Gaudy:No. Pinchard: Are we nearly there yet? Gaudy:No. Pinchard: Are we nearly there yet? Gaudy:No! Pinchard: Are we nearly there yet? Gaudy:NO!

littlestar

Pickhard: Stuff it. Let's boldly go back home! Gaudy: Aye sir!

littlestar

Pickhard: I spy with my little eye, something beginning with S! Gaudy: Space?

Shinigami

P: Engage, not bore. Engage me.

Shinigami

G: You for got to say please, Captain.

Shinigami

P: Mr. Data, a course goes somewhere.

Shinigami

P: Is the space-time contiuum stuck again?

The Great Wizzard

Gaudy: ETA: 6 weeks. Pinchhard: I want full status report every 5 minutes!

Jim McNamara

Gaudy: We're currently where some people have gone before. Pinchhard: Oh, close enough.

Jim McNamara

Gaudy: Where exactly are we going? Pinchhard: I'm going to sleep.

Shinigami

P: What exactly, are we doing, Mr. Regurge? G: Boldly waiting for the light to change, Captain.

The Great Wizzard

P: Anyone got an idea? G: I could turn off the screensaver and start the warped drive

oxygen

Pinchard: Gaudy, keep moving that mouse around. I hate this screensaver. Gaudy: I could switch it off if you'd like, we could look at the stars.

JC

Pinchhard: Oh this is boring! Go somewhere interesting instead! Gaudy: You got it, Captain!

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