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| The Sci-Fi Comic Strip This week: Close mouthed villains. This week's Sev Wars cartoon features a caricature of Daft Mall, one of the most popular Star Wars characters even though he only says a few lines in the whole movie. It seems the fewer words you say in Star Wars movies, the more fans you get. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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These comics are created from the winning entries of The Sci-Fi Movie Cartoon Contest - the winning punchline is chosen in the weekly IRC Judging Session. This week's winning punchline was written by Darth Pitious. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions. DB
| And waste valuable killing time? crazeyal
| Considering where I'm about to shove this, I didn't think tea was appropriate. crazeyal
| The master said "KILL" not socialize D.Kacinski
| I stick to what I'm good at: Swinging a big stick. palleon1
| Well, if you don't have anything good to say.... meggy eel
| !!em sdnatsrednu enoon tub ,klat I Darth Bean
| I break bones with sticks and stones, not words. Darth Bean
| I learn from other villains mistakes. dettus
| Hey! I'm not jar jar binks! Neonlizard
| I'm Daft ok! You got a problem with that? rynax
| So, what makes you think I will talk now?.... Damn it! Heather Nova
| Uh.... so, like... I'm gonna bash your brains in!! How's THAT for conversation? Bill Harris
| I'm a Sith Lord, not a Senator. Heather Nova
| Well, just wanna sit down and talk things through instead of fighting? talshiarHQ
| I'm not multitasking capable. Griffin
| Have weapons, will use. Rob Jensen
| Not in the job description Tappy Muad'Dib
| Remember, it's always the quiet ones Linda
| I'm a Sith Apprentice, you old fool! Not a linguistics scholar! Darth Bean
| By tug wud cut outh. John Fallon
| James Earl Jones is on holidays. John Fallon
| Because every time I try to say something, that damn theme music starts up again . Seeker
| Once I learnt about "sticks and stones" I forgot all about words. Cmdr. Solomon
| What do you want me to say? I have a bad feeling about this? NeonLizard
| Mesa no speaka de english NeonLizard
| At least I don't have a dorky sidekick! Rug Man
| That's because I have a little thing called "presence!" augustdragon
| I'll make a nice speech at your funeral. Cybermoose
| May the talk be with YOU! iGod
| They left the character development for Jar Jar! ijsbeertje
| It's Sev WARS not sev TALKS BC
| Well, the funniest thing happened today when I was shaving with the lightsaber... Kes
| Do you have any idea how long it takes to put this makeup on? If I move my lips, it gets all cracked! Oh man!, now look what you made me do! Shlamko
| Talking is hard when your torso is kept toghether with masking-tape. TBone
| I traded my lines for a cooler lightsever. Frogboy Lives
| Why mince words, when I can mince Red-eye? DMJ
| *squeaky voice* For some reason I'm more intimidating if I keep my mouth shut! Sakaya
| Doesn't my makeup say enough? Petr&ecaute;a Mitchell
| Sith University isn't big on elocution. Scott McClenny
| Yeah,but my looks really DO kill! iGod
| I don't need to talk, i'm an action figure! iGod
| Would you want paint in your mouth? Jazzy
| I charge per syllable - and Lucas spent all his money on tha Jab-Jab babbling idiot ! MissIzzy
| Can't have the audience sympathizing with me. Talythia
| I'm not a people person John Zieman
| I let my double Lightsewer do the talking Darth Pitious
| A cross messa is, betweensa Jar Jar and yoda, yesa. And yousa wondering why me speaka not? Darth Pitious
| Excuse me.. *ahem* Two-bladed, or not two bladed, that 'tis the question. Darth Pitious
| *waves hand* I don't' need to talk much Darth Pitious
| Talking messes up the rhythm of my fighting....*trip* *oof* *ouch* Darth Pitious
| My lips are caught in a perpetual sneer Darth Pitious
| I'm too busy making the sound effects for my lightsaber. Joeno
| And give away our master plan? Darth Pitious
| You know, you *could* be telling Jar Jar to talk less, instead of telling me to talk more. Darth Pitious
| Nouns, Verb, adjectives...the light side of the force are they. Darth Pitious
| I could say the same thing to you guys. Where's the friendly camaraderie? Where are the witty one liners? Darth Pitious
| Leave the talking to the Gungans, and leave the Slashing to the Sith. Darth Pitious
| A certain Gungan stole all my speaking time. Darth Pitious
| Oh? You'd rather have me saying "I have a bad feeling about this" every few minutes? Darth Pitious
| The faith paint maketh it hahd to move mah wipths. Darth Pitious
| I'm not falling for that one. If I answer you, then I'll have talked and I ...ahhhh! I fell for it! *&%$# Jedi Mind Trick! Darth Pitious
| That is because like yoda I talk. Embarrassed am I. bryan douglas
| Two words: Silence Sells Nodrog_CRC
| Talk is cheap. Sadly, so is Lucas when it comes to paying me. Nodrog_CRC
| Talk to the Sevver, cause the horns don't want to hear it! Nodrog_CRC
| I follow the Boba Fett plan: Talk little. Have cool accessories. Become extremely popular. Darkster
| Look at my teeth, you wouldn't talk either. Erlend
| well, they couldn't come up with another stupid dialect for my species Trevor Raggatt
| James Earl Jones was already booked Trilliena
| Thatsa beecoza meesa talksa likea Bar Bar ! Jimbo Jones
| Makeup.... cracking.... talshiarHQ
| Only on DVD-Special Edition! Elim
| Errrrr... Wendee Rae
| I don't get paid to talk you to death. MindMelda
| Silent but deadly. Like two hours after a Quik-Mart burrito. Dirk S.
| It guarantees my popularity! EvilDevil
| for every second I don't speak I win 10 fans... Pepo
| My mommy told me never to talk to strangers. T'Rowa
| Jealous of my snazzy wardrobe, Qui-Gon? T'Rowa
| *sniffle* Nobody understands me...the pressures of being a Sith Lord....my Master's expectations...people staring at me because I'm different...I think I'm going to cry. Right after I kill you. T'Rowa
| Chicks dig the dark, silent type. Sean-Luc
| You DO remember the last time some old guy with a beard faced a Sith Lord, don't you? Gregory Griffiths
| O.K. Qui Gon, I am your father!! Gregory Griffiths
| Let's see an action figure that can do that! (TM) Gregory Griffiths
| Two words: Blubba Fatt Gregory Griffiths
| If you sounded like Pee-Wee Herman, would you?! Gregory Griffiths
| However, you can read about the reason why in my autobiography! Seanith
| It's not in my contract! Seanith
| My Lawyer discourages it. Tappy
| I have ugly teeth. NeonLizard
| Actually I'm quite proficient in several languages but I have simply chosen not to employ them at this time. NeonLizard
| Jar Jar kinda threw me off the idea NeonLizard
| I just think a lot NeonLizard
| You don't need to with a face like this! Tilas
| You think you could talk with a mask like this?!?!?! TEFII
| Evil gloating is just for the bigwigs. Reidan
| Who needs words when you have a Light Sev-er as cool as mine? Kalahari Karl
| I'll just write something on your chest with my lightsever! issy
| the sword is mightier than the word talshiarHQ
| The name´s Mall. Daft Mall. EA O'Connor
| Dialogue is irrelevant. You will be impaled. dragon
| I could think of a retort to that, but I'd rather just thrust my lightsaber into your stomach. hahahah Agee
| With you yapping about the Farce so much I can't get a line in! nina
| Maybe, but my lightsaber is bigger! Kalahari Karl
| (Speaks to self): Inhale. Kill. Exhale.
| I never got my script in the mail... Nali
| No, and you don't fight good do you? Jonathan
| And yet, I'm still more popular then you!! BWHAHAHAHAH!! Raptor
| Like there's anything worth saying in the script! Catspaw
| Hey, I'm just here to look pretty. Callisto
| Why talk when you can Maul? MindMelda
| I speak Lightsever! Panza
| I don't talk my victims to death. Panza
| Less words, more firepower! ALicat
| Hey, it's not nice to pick on the 'verbally impaired' ALicat
| I don't want to betray my menacing exterior with my girl voice Gregg E.
| Nope Dial "M" for Maul
| The next Sith Lord takes all the good lines! Dial "M" for Maul
| To keep the PG rating down, George said I couldn't "Talk Sith" to you guys... Nails
| I speak softly and carry a big lightsaber! aurik
| I find that these red and black tattoos and the head spikes kinda speak for themselves, dont'cha think? Bill Harris
| If I talk too much, I'll have to join the actors union. two-four-§ev
| Errrrmmm...LINE! Wendee Rae
| Look what talking did for JarJar. Griffin
| The only person who could be more popular than me is a bounty hunter who has one line over two films. Havelock
| The popularity of a character is inversely proportional to the amount he says. Paying attention, Mouldy-Bun? Kira Mae
| talk leads to converstion, conversation leads to gossip, and gossip leads to the feminine side of the force! flickguy
| But I look "Menacing"... Cordavin Lon
| Glory to the Mime Side of the Force. flickguy
| The voice-overs are costly. Amy Dalla
| I'm not used to having conversations with people. The make-up usually scares them off. Amy Dalla
| That may be so, but my death is way cooler than yours! Amy Dalla
| If I talked a lot, I might reveal secrets, like that Mouldy Bun is Amidala's cousin...whoops. Amy Dalla
| Sore throats are common in the Dork Side. Kit
| You try talking a lot after getting hit by mutant created lightning. KSheff
| You try to be evil and menacing when your voice sounds like Mickey Mouse's! FrayedEdge
| Word ballons have a habit of shortening one's lightsever at inopportune moments. Observe yours, for example. FrayedEdge
| I plead the fifth. He Who Must Be Ignored
| My bad feelings are my own! RainStrom
| Having a catch-phrase is uncool! The Starfighter
| The more people talk, the more the viewers hate them Amie Howell
| And interrupt your witty repartee on Midi-Chlorine's? Nodrog_CRC
| Look at Jaw-Jaw Binks and Sev-3P0. You realy want more dialogue in here from a non-human charachter? Nodrog_CRC
| Witty dialogue is NOT part of Sith training neilinoz
| Hey, with a screenplay this flimsy, do you think it'd make a difference? neilinoz
| George Lucas pays me to waft this thing around, not sprout dialogue! neilinoz
| Stuntmen are cheaper to hire than actors fella! neilinoz
| You try talking and operating this thing at the same time! neilinoz
| I'll 'ave yer know that I learned me speech from listenin' ter British Television Lurker24601
| I find that extraneous exposition juxtaposed with adventitious extrapolation...uh...I mean, Me want fight! neilinoz
| Thut up you thun of a thtormtrooper! TKar
| Still not gonna stop me from kicking your rump! neilinoz
| Geez, haven't you guys used telepathy yet? Amateurs! neilinoz
| I'll have you know that I have a master's in literature from Harvard! Philistine! TKar
| Chicks dig tats, old man. Lurker24601
| Words baaaad. Fight gooood! neilinoz
| Fine. Let's have a conversation. Any particular topic you'd like to divulge? TKar
| Yeah, but at least *I* have character! neilinoz
| You try and talk with horns stuck in your brain's speech centre Ann E. Nichols
| I read the script and demanded that 95% of my lines be cut. TKar
| You can't run a man through with words. Lane Hardy
| You don't shut up much, do you?! Brandon Freeman
| I'm self-conscious about my teeth. Joel Schimek
| I'm scared Siftless Joel Schimek
| last time I spoke, I got Mauled Edward Fries
| That is because in everyway, shape and form, I am the exact opposite of Bar Bar Jinx. DocX
| Bad breath, dude!!! Dirk S.
| Itth becauth of my lispth. m
| its all in the body language Kris
| As pathetic as this movie's dialogue is, who'd want to? Sirje Heikkerö
| Who needs to talk when you've got this scary face?! Emissary
| Everything I say can be used against me. Talythia
| I let my face do my talking for me Weyoun the Dancing Borg
| Itsssh thu latex. I carnt moou my mouf. Solo-Horn
| Can't talk...Black/Red paint drying. Cybermoose
| You talk and give a evil snarl at the same time. JDSandara
| Would you rather I talk like Bar Bar? TotallyMAD
| And ruin a perfectly good image? P Swayne
| This face paint has dried, and I can't move my mouth! Jonathan
| Yousa wonder why messa don't talk much? Will Etienne
| I was told to never talk to strangers. Seanith
| No Comment. ScottE Bemeup
| I'm too busy not cutting my own head off. CinderK
| I, uh... Oh goodness me... I seem to be at a loss for words. Mark Anderson
| They cut my budget. Lines apparently cost more than special effects. Riff
| I'm saving it for my novel. sev of thin line
| they spent to much time on my make-up to worry 'bout lines Murdoc
| I let my lightsaber do all the talking. Pam
| Yeah, and after I kill you Jedi I'm gonna kill my agent! Morf
| My mother say if I don't have anything nice to say not to say anything at all Cybermoose
| Wait till I think of a witty one-liner Glorendil
| What do you want me to say? "You seem a decent fellow, I'd hate to kill you"? Glorendil
| Kill or kill not. There is no talk. bryan douglas
| Once you toss out the crappy dialogue, there isn't much left. Cmdr. 8472
| I don't want anyone to know.....mesa Bar Bar Jinx's father! §Sean§
| I accidentally cut off my tongue during training with this lightsaber Tomi "BGT" Mäntylä
| Can't talk now -- fighting. Bobby
| Hey at least my lightsaber is way cooler than yours Space Katet
| The merchandise does the talking. Dr Satan
| If I open my mouth, my facepaint will crack. The Great Wizzard
| No habla Ingles. Adam Barger
| I'm the embodiment of Evil isn't that enough? two-four-§ev
| I need words like you need hole in the chest! two-four-§ev
| Prose is for the weak! two-four-§ev
| Between you both, it's hard to get a word in! two-four-§ev
| It strains the make-up! Allan
| Neither does the action figure. Mister Boba Fett
| One says it best, when one says nothing at all. lemmi
| Try handling this and talk at the same time, Mr Knowitall Allan
| Why blow the mystery? Chris G
| I got a damn horn sticking into my tongue +PsychoPat+
| You don't need diversions like talking while handling a two bladed lightsever you know! Shawn McNiel
| I let my lightsever do my talkin' for me. The Great Wizzard
| If you heard one Sift lord you heard everyone. The Great Wizzard
| My brother is the talking one in our family. I only got the good looks. The Great Wizzard
| [silence] PJK
| Less talk, more action The Great Wizzard
| Kill first, talk later
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