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| The Sci-Fi Comic Strip This week: accurate Stormbloopers. This week's Sev Wars comic strip re-examines a peculiar statement from Mouldy- Bun Baloney about how accurate Stormbloopers are. Evidence from the rest of the 3 movies shows they couldn't even hit the broad side of a Sandcrawler!? 
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| These comics are created from the winning entries of The Sci-Fi Movie Cartoon Contest - the winning punchline is chosen in the weekly IRC Judging Session. This week's winning punchline was written by Allan. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions. scifi1801a
| They're improving. At least they're all hitting the broad side of the SAME barn now. scifi1801a
| Its far more likely that lightening struck the sevcrawler and its crew. Several dozen times. GreyWolf
| Use your eyes, Moldey! Use your EYES! Kimpire
| You're looking at the wrong sandcrawler. The one THEY shot at escaped. MindMelda
| One thing stronger than the Farce, poor depth perception. Johnathan McClure
| You mean there's a mutant strain?! Bill Harris
| Yeah, everyone else would have just shot the jawas. Mark Walton
| If this is the quality of your predictive powers, you can go to Alderaan on your own. John Larabee
| Are you teasing me about the toilet seat thing again...? Stacy Duke
| Not necessarily - it also could have been a blind Droid with severe wrist malfunction. Shlamko
| For once, the sunglasses come handy! JoeRu
| I sense a great disturbance in your sanity... King Orthur
| Is the force weak with you or something!!! Michael Morrison
| It's not a barn ... but it is broad enough ... Griffin
| Your right. That kind of accurate shot can only come from a Stormbloopers. Griffin
| It's a basic truth. Republic credits aren't fine, white men can't jump, and Stormbloopers can't aim. archer sagitarius
| that, or the jawas have been eating mexican food Czarna
| As long as the target isn't integral to the plot Gobi Toby
| Uh, I think you're getting the words "accurate" and "precise" mixed up again. Billy Arbco
| You must have been out here in the desert for a REALLY long time Mouldy Bun! Billy Arbco
| You must mean some OTHER kind of Stormblooper then the ones I know.. Billy Arbco
| How long has it been since you actually SAW a Stormblooper in action Mouldy Bun? 009
| They were inside the sandcrawler 009
| If they were standing 2 feet away, yeah Wyv
| Looks like Blabba the Gutt broke wind inside that thing. Space Katet
| Even See Creepio can shoot this accurately. Eric
| Actually, the Jawas did this trying to repair a blaster. Mark
| Your standard of accuracy is pretty low. Mark
| How well do they do against the living? Darkskull
| Oh Yay. I'm stuck with an Old, Blind and Deaf Jedi. I am so Dead. FieldGeneral
| Obviously your Jedi Training didn't include basic marksmanship with a blaster Talythia
| They must have remembered to put their glasses on this time Evan Lawbaugh
| "Yeah, no seriously Ben, who do you REALLY think did it?" freilicher
| Says the guy who trains with his eyes covered!. Mystic Orangutan
| Oh, I get it. That's a joke, right? Jeremy Merritt
| Yeah, and womp rats might fly out of my butt. Jason Hedgecock
| Do you even listen to what you're saying? Rusty
| I thought stormbloopers couldn't see through the helmets! Ian Austin
| Please. Their aim is as bad as their armour. MindMelda
| If they're hiring the visually impaired, how evil can they be? Glorendil
| I looked at the script. Don't worry, it won't happen again. Murdoc
| Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match when you have good sarcasm at your side. Nodrog
| The sarcasm is strong in this one. Tomi "BGT" Mäntylä
| Yeah. The sandpeople would have hit the tracks as intended. Josh Chapman
| Yeah maybe when the target is forty feet high! Kage
| Don't tell me, These were supposed to be warning shots. Goldstripe
| Uh-huh, isn't it time for your medication? Ken (Buster) C.
| Well I guess we were wrong, They can hit the broadside of a Barn! Sevanonymous
| I'm sorry, we *are* talking about Stormbloopers, aren't we? Gobi Toby
| I guess a couple of them COULD have gotten a lucky hit or two... Gobi Toby
| Hey, everybody gets to hit something at least once. Dr Satan
| You're always blaming the stormbloopers... Dr Satan
| Accurate? They couldn't hit Jaba with a slug-seeking missile. Dr Satan
| They were probably trying to fly around it Dr Satan
| They're about as accurate as your comments Dr Satan
| Yes, you have to be accurate to hit a 20 foot skip Dial "M" for Maul
| I beg to differ. When the shooting started, these Jawa probably died of boredom. FieldGeneral
| If this is accuracy, then my 'elegant' lightsaber is really a thermal detonater. FieldGeneral
| Gosh I know. Every one of their shots hit SOMETHING. FieldGeneral
| Wow, mouldy bun, I never knew you had a sarcastic streak in you. FieldGeneral
| Um, actually, I saw it all. One trooper got his thumb stuck in the trigger guard. FieldGeneral
| Yeah. Too bad they were trying to take them alive for questioning. FieldGeneral
| Know what mouldy? All this is a result of their squad leader saying "Fire a shot across their bow." FieldGeneral
| Ironic isn't it, that they were shooting to miss? FieldGeneral
| I think, that as part of your Redeye training, you should next construct a pair of eyeglasses. Londo Moelarry
| I sure that's true. From a certain point of view. Dr Satan
| Accurate? They probably crashed into it by mistake. Dr Satan
| Yes, it's amazing what you can do at point blank range. Jamal Radar
| I guess they should start fitting prescription helmets. Emily
| Really? I'd hate to see it when they miss. Andy R.
| Why can't they shoot accurately on screen? Nails
| I'd hate to see what inaccurate shooting looks like. Robin
| Relax. They're bound to lose their coordination by "Rerun of the Redeye" Phiz
| Stormbloopers did this? How? With a hole puncher? Harley Cat
| Puleeze..it took a whole platoon to kill four Jawas Unimatrix Zero
| You would be that accurate too if you shot point blank EnabranMek
| And I'm supposed to get a torpedo down a two meter hole at the end of this movie?! TotallyMAD
| Mouldy-bun, you lived in different times. TotallyMAD
| I have a feeling that history will alter from this point on... Naraht
| Yeah, it almost looks haphazard Yorgi
| Yeah, it's a good thing the Sandcrawler drove between us and them , wasn't it? neilinoz
| So.... they were trying to kill themselves? John Lang
| There's a first time for everything Dark Knight
| Then explain why we could escape thousands without a scratch?? DJTreky
| And you think Qui-Gon trained you well? DJTreky
| And you expect me to believe Artoo actually managed to survive this long? DJTreky
| Compared to the Battle-Droids of your day? tuvoky_wo
| About as accurate as a stray dog leading a blind man Joanna
| Of course. They were aiming the other way. Allan
| Ease up on the mushrooms, old man. Allan
| This "Farce" thing must be hallucinogenic. Allan
| You want respect with a comment like that? Williamson
| This thing is bigger than the broad side of a barn, then. Allan
| Someone certainly didn't like their bumper-sticker. Roget
| They must have been aiming at the treads... Allan
| One tiny Sandcrawler in a huge desert. Hidron98
| Okay grampa, let's go back to the house so you can take your medication... Hidron98
| Okay, I was beleiving everything you said, until now. Londo Moelarry
| Yeah, right. I bet they couldn't even beat a bunch of fuzzy little bears armed with bows and arrows. Tim N.
| Only when they're not trying. MindMelda
| Senility is stronger than farce, apparently. Ensign Pikachu
| They say 1,000 Stormbloopers, given an infinite amount of time, will eventually hit all 4 jawas. Johnathan McClure
| Change your name to Mouldy Brain! Diamond
| And which stormblooper would that be? John Tontodonati
| Only blind idiots can shoot more accurately. Potswilly
| Accurate!? They had to destroy that whole Sandcrawler, just to kill a few Jawas! David D
| Hard not to miss shooting from the inside. David D
| They were aiming for the wheels Nan
| Honestly, count the holes then count the bodies. Nan
| Are you kidding? They couldn't shoot this accurately if you walked right up to them. bonemar
| Which movie are you in? Nan
| Hmm, they must have have removed their buckets. lymbojimbo
| If accurately means hitting everthing but what they were aiming for, then i agree. Vixy
| Blast everything within a five mile radius and you're bound to hit something. essayg
| What were they really aiming at? ebonsun
| Great eyes you've got... Jedi, my butt! Ryan-19
| Yeah, and i'll bet over half of them missed! ebonsun
| Good against extras, maybe. But good on lead actors? I don't think so! Bryan
| Yeah, the next time I get attacked by a barn, I'll know who to call. Giri Ninjo
| Well it is as big as a barn isn't it Dr.Z
| wow, hit the brood side of a moble barn.....impressive Shane Vassar
| Yeah, they aimed to miss. Jason Daily
| Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Obi Wan?! Briareos
| So they were only trying to fire warning shots? Nim
| Say that again? I thought you said 'stormbloopers' and 'accurately in the same sentence. Haathi
| How can you be so wise... and yet so stupid?
| They can't miss all the time Michael Lewis
| It only took 500 shots to do what a rock and a slingshot could have done. TEFII
| You mean only they can shoot at the broad side of a supply crawler and still miss half the time. Todd Harris
| Sure the things twice the size of any barn. Dan
| Right...I sure couldn't have hit that giant sandcrawler from three feet away... Dial "M" for Maul
| This being a sandcrawler, it was a REALLY SLOW drive-by shooting. Paul V
| It's easy when you shooting from inside the sandcrawler. the crazy evil dude
| So which Stormbloopers have you met? the crazy evil dude
| So they were aiming for what? Moddy
| Yes? Then who was it that shot at this sandcrawler? BC
| What do they practice on, Death Stars? Stan
| It must have taken them hours. Or they must have had their eyes closed. Daniv
| 4 casualties and a shredded backdrop. You could be right. Standback
| Yeah, especially considering they were aiming at that flock of geese. Leon van Steensel
| Maybe they shot to miss, and accidentally hit it. Dial "M" for Maul
| These Jawas weren't shot. They laughed themselves to death. Hanover Fisk
| I sense a great sarcasm in the Force. TC
| Ah, the famous Redeye sarcasm finally makes an appearance FieldGeneral
| You know, I suddenly have a feeling that this "Redeye wisdom" talk is a bit overplayed. Glorendil
| Stormbloopers shooting accurately??? It's the end of the world! carol
| Oh for Pete's sake they were headed to the junk yard at a whopping 2 miles an hour, how hard could it have been? Yorgi
| I think they used up their accuracy quota for the rest of the movie Yorgi
| When you fire that many shots, you have to hit something jak
| Never mind the 9,248 rounds that went wide. Wyv
| You mean they took off their helmets? The Great Wizzard
| And you wonder why they call you "crazy old hermit"... Murdoc
| I see. That one behind you been trying for the past minute. Shall I knock him down with my clunky yet strangely effective lightshaver? Snicker
| Don't you mean "MISS that accurately"? oxYgen
| It's a three-story vehicle for crying out loud. Even R2D2 would hit it. Keng
| But they weren't even AIMING for the transport! Jonathan
| You've got cataracts, don't you? Dano Langevin
| Shoot? They were cleaning their guns! Caroline Meier
| Really? Well they missed a few spots. Dial "M" for Maul
| That pretty much rules them out I'd say. Dial "M" for Maul
| I think you've been out in this hot sun for a bit too long. Dial "M" for Maul
| I think you're mistaking stormblooper fire for a meteorite shower T-1000
| What are you talking about. Some friends and I are were pelting stones at that thing earlier today. joerg
| Yeah, they shot a hole in the ozone layer and the UV light killed the Jawas. Very clever! joerg
| I think they aimed for a brown robe. Joseph
| Aw, those guys couldn't hit the broad side of a sandcrawler... Oh. Hmm. craig =8^}
| whew, aunt beru and uncle owen will be fine, then. Narc O'Leptic
| In other words, if we're not as big as a house or as slow-moving we don't have to worry! Corsair
| Well, it is the Broadside of the Crawler. Anish Amin
| A target that big....How would they miss!? skynorm
| anyone can shoot down a twenty foot high brown thing. Kyle Bruck
| They can't hit the broadside of a deathstar 009
| Good job the target is the size of a barn della
| are we talking about the SAME "stormbloopers"? Della
| if that is "accuracy", then vader's my dad. The Great Wizzard
| Next you'll tell me that a green midget will be my redeye teacher... Quackaroni
| Drunken Spam People throw rocks more accurately. +PsychoPat+
| Spare me your sarcasm. joerg
| Yeah, but only while no cameras point at them. It makes them nervous. Allan
| Looks like road-rage to me. Allan
| They must be good to hit a MOBILE barn. Allan
| The 10% hit ratio is distinct. Allan
| Well, there not too much out here to distract them. Allan (doing it blind - the leeloo jpg is still there)
| People are occasionally blessed with luck. The Great Wizzard
| "Stormbloopers"? Cheap plastic armor, dark black sunglasses, unable to hit the broad side of a Star Destroyer from a 10cm distance. We're talking about the same guys? Just checking... two-four-§ev
| Must have been EXTREMELY close-range then!
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