Hosted by HashSev Wide WebIndexToon ZoneWeb ZoneDTP ZoneSev ShopWhat's New








Click here to publish this Competition on your siteClick here to publish this cartoon in your newsletterClick here to buy this comic strip

This week's idea was suggested by Muuh2000X.

The Sci-Fi Comic Strip

This week: Stormbloopers marksmanship. This week's comic strip explains why Stormbloopers never hit anything (not to be confused with previous Stormblooper strips explaining why they wear useless armor and why there are so many of them).

Other Punchlines



These comics are created from the winning entries of The Sci-Fi Competition - the winning punchline is chosen in the weekly IRC Judging Session. This week's winning punchline was written by MindMelda. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.


Bobby's girl

Put on a helmet and find out....

Derek

Can YOU see through an inch of plastic?

Aurik

Probably because they get more enjoyment from watching us squirm and dance around the blaster bolts

Aurik

Because, Lube, we're the stars -- we can dodge thousands of Stormbloopers, swing a princess across a gaping chasm, and blow up the Death Star *without even breaking a sweat*

Rebekah Henderson

maybe because they are wearing those rediculous sunglasses?

Avenger CO

Why don't you walk closer to them and ask.

Green Leader

We have contracts, they don't.

Klau'HaQ

We still got two more episodes to shoot

Tracy Jones

I hope you touched wood

Scott McClenny

They are..but this is a PG movie!

Allod

Without us they'd have no job.

Nick Frame

Most People wouldn't complain you know

DSMM

Shhh! they can't actually SEE through the helmets.

holynarf

Whine, whine, whine. Geez, I wish they would hit you!

Trideos

All main characters wear weapon-deflecting aftershave!

Knight of ni83

If they killed us, they wouldn't get payed for the other two movies.

Jo

Quiet! You want them to figure out where we're standing?

dragon

I dont know kid, and I aint gonna hang around to find out!!

Danielle

It's hard to aim when you can't see

Danielle

Could have something to do with these stupid outfits - I think I'm suffering from the biggest wedgie of all time

Kalahari Karl

Hey, its that or we get hit below the belt. Take your pick.

Petréa Mitchell

Teflon armor.

Fel

They could, but I owe them money.

chopin

*sigh* Always with you, it cannot be done!

Shlamko

Like the star, they're dud.

Kendar

Walking in a straight line with those helmets is hard enough, let alone shooting striaght

4 of 5

all that static from your hair must be creating an dispersion field

Chris

sshh! Don't jinx it.

Mystic Orangutan

They did. This is the afterlife. That's why everyone's dressed in white.

asterope

I think it has something to do with our Main Character Shields

Captain Worf

Were so boring we melt into the background

TJD

Hey, it's the SEVenties, the good guys never get shot.

peter

An even better question would be why are we standing still in front of them while unarmed?

mike

Yeah, they're almost as good with blasters as you are with a comb!

Avenger CO

I'll hit you if it'll make you feel better.

Jazzcat

Because they convulse with laughter every time they aim at us.

Chris Barnhill

We look so stupid that they have laughing fits every time they aim at us.

§Sean§

The next two pictures will be kinda boring if we're just lying there dead and mouldy....

§Sean§

Who's going to buy a "Han with his head blown off doll"?

me

I put on some blaster repellant this morning.

Cyber-Garfield

They haven't learned the cheat code for their helmets

Nan

I can arrange for you to be hit if you like.

Nan

Key word being bloopers.

Mark

It must be because you are so bright.

David D

Would you shoot the bosses son?

Kandahar

Those masks have no air holes, try holding your breath and shooting something at the same time

Bill Harris

Wearing those helmets, they're lucky they can hit the broadside of the Death Star!

Richard P Willis

I set their armor to 'vibrate'.

spiffy

You're talking about 70's tech, here.

Nesey

Oh the stunt folks take all the hits for us

Shlamko

They just can't kill such a good looking guy like me.

Mark Foster

They went with the lowest bidder for the helments. Apparently eyeholes are "optional extras"

Kimberly

They get paid by the wasted ammo clip.

Jim McNamara

Extras can't aim.

Jim McNamara

That's not how See Creepio tells it.

divineVader

Do you think it is possible to precisely aim at the bluescreen?

Justin Allen

The helmets provide all but visibility.

Justin Allen

if you couldn't see in that helmet, what makes you think they can!

Justin Allen

Now would you want to tell vapour that you shot his son?

Justin Allen

Contractual orders kid, we've got contracts they've got orders to hit everything but us

NetKnight

They're shooting at us?

Mohammed

Their all cross-eyed

Dryad47

Those dark glasses aren't to mke them look cool.

Bladez

That's why they're on the Dork Side!

Bill Harris

We have something of immense power on our side -- the scriptwriter.

Riff

They're trained by the henchmen in James Bond movies.

Wei-Hwa

If they could, lightsevers would be pretty useless, wouldn't they?

evay

Beats me. I thought you were directing the pulses away with the Farce.

evay

There's no pleasing some people!

evay

They won't hit ME because I have a dozen more movies to star in. You? A guest shot as a bad guy on "Lois and Clark"? Better they hit you.

peter

Well, just in case they do hit you and you get killed and I make it out alive...Im going after your sister.

Nodrog

A typo in the recruitment ad. Turns out the Impire wanted stormtrooped who COULD shoot straight.

Nodrog

I don't know, but I wish I had known that fact BEFORE I wet my armor.

Nodrog

They all misunderstood the Stormblooper recruitment jingle of 'Aim High'.

Wei-Hwa

Because you couldn't act in a death scene if your life depended on it.

Nodrog

Let's just say that the emperor is very paranoid about guards who could shoot him in the back.

Nodrog

Remember, all main charachters are created sequal...

Slade

They're trying to dazzel us with the light show, then they're gonna club us with their blasters.

spiffy

It's a clause in my contract.

Andy R.

Because they are too busy hitting on the Princess.

Standback

They're called StormBLOOPERS for a reason, you know.

Rerwom

If the could, the movie would've been over after the first 5 minutes.

jdwiseman

We gotta teach the kiddies that guns are safe.

The Great Wizzard

One more stupid question and I'll hit YOU!

mike

Have you ever heard the phrase, "Put up or shut up"? Well, how often do you hear a stormblooper speak...

patty

Must be my blinding ego shielding us both ...

Cmdr. 8472

They only have two settings. "Miss" and "way off."

Morgan

How accurate do you think you'd be wearing a potty on your head.

ScottE Bemeup

Our aim is to save the universe, their aim will help.

ScottE Bemeup

They're aimless, much like this plot.

ScottE Bemeup

I got a bad feeling about you, kid.

ScottE Bemeup

Wouldn't be much of a franchise if we died in the first movie, would it?

ScottE Bemeup

My hair has a built in repulsor field.

Corsair

It's the Farce. No, a REAL Farce.

Shawn McNiel

You prefer that they did?

Shawn McNiel

You think this is bad, you ought to see their bathroom.

Ed

The Empire only PAINTS eyeholes in the helmets - it doesn't cut them out.

Haathi

Miss, or miss not. There is no why.

Gemini

Because we're the good guys! Stupid!

Danielle

As a cost-cutting measure, the eyeholes aren't see-through

Danielle

The bad guys always have rotten aim

Kurt

You ever tried aiming with welding glasses?

Kurt

Their sun glasses aren't just blocking the sun.

The Great Wizzard

It works as long as noone mentions it, so keep quiet!

Fel

Instinct of survival.If they hit us, they get promoted, if they get promoted, they are killed by Daft Vapour.

Pankin

With helmets like that? Carpal tunnel vision!

glorendil

Poor training... and being blind surely doesn't help.

Shlamko

The only cretiria for being a stormblooper is blindness.

The Great Wizzard

I swapped their sunglasses with "solar eclipse sunglasses".

Cordavin Lon

YOU put on sunglasses and try to hit the broad side of a starcruiser!

Wendon Pettey

It's the helmets...the eye holes were just painted on.

Jim McNamara

I like to think I'm good at dodging.

Jim McNamara

All their guns are set on "miss".

Jim McNamara

Standard movie villian weakness.

Jim McNamara

They can't use the Farce like SOMEONE I could mention.

Jim McNamara

They're under contract to miss.

Gregory Griffiths

You're alive because of that fact and you DARE to ask why?

Gregory Griffiths

'Cause it'd be a really short movie if they could!

Gregory Griffiths

Shut up and shoot them!

derek

I thinks its our outfits...looks to much like their potty training days

Back to the Sci-Fi Competition


Sev Wide Web | Index | Toon Zone | Sev Shop | What's New | Contact Us
Sev Trek Comp | Scifi Comp | Pits Comp | Twist Comp | Sunday Comp
Sev Trek | Sev Files | Sevgate | Fraud of the Rings | Bluffy | Sev Wars | Sevylon 5 | Pits | Twist | Sevloid Chronicles
Sev Trek Movie | Sev Wars 3D Trailer | The Vault | Discussion Board | Ideas Board | Sevilian Board | Privacy Policys

The Sev Wide Web and all content within are © Copyright 2000 by John Cook.
None of my material can be used on any other site without prior permission from the author.
However, feel free to link to my site from yours.