Sev Wars: The Comic Strip #14

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Sev Wars: The Comic Strip

Star Wars fandom! This week's strip explores the depths Star Wars fan(atic)s are willing to go to for their beloved franchise.

Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of The Sci-Fi Competition - the winning punchline is chosen in the weekly IRC Judging Session.
This week's winning punchline was written by char. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions.

Deanni

You started the queue for Episode One.

Deanni

You haven't spoken to your sister in years because she likes Trek better.

Deanni

You watched Schindler's List and wondered what Qui-Gon was doing in Nazi Germany

Standback

Using advanced biotechnolgy, you've finally succeded to genetically create a Dewback,

ShaneS

Your burial plot is three stories tall to accomodate you and your collection.

Krysanthemum

...you can shut your eyes and watch all the movies in your head

Spudz

You quote lines from the movies without even realizing it.

Danielle

you start making those humming noises while holding a french loaf more than a foot long

Deanni

You lost a lot of sales because clients were afraid of your Darth Maul makeover

Deanni

There's a plaque in Skywalker Ranch thanking you for buying so much merchandise

Tear-up14

you find these comic strips offensive

RobRoy

"Scientific American" refuses to publish your article on the midi-chlorians.

Carloss

...you sleep in a Taun Taun!

8 of 12

Every time you start your car you yell 'It's working! IT'S WORKING!!!'

=/\= Char =/\=

You can talk about it for hours and then notice that every one left.

Puke

You have a deep voiced black man talk for you.

Steven Chicken

When you cue up for three hours in sleet and snow to watch a film everyone knows the ending to

happyDubo

You know what Peter Mayhew likes with his toast

Williamson

You were arrested for staking out the school where the Lucas kids go, waiting for God to drop them off.

Williamson

You family has commented to you friends if they know of a Star Wars Detox center

littlestar

While driving, you turn off the radio, and hum the Darth Vader theme

Francis Miranda

Your favorite pick up line is "Are you an angel?"

Francis Miranda

You soak all day in the pool so you'll wind up looking like Palpatine.

Shlamko

The band plays Luke and Leia's theme at you're wedding.

ShaneS

your most prized possession is the tape used on Carrie Fisher during the filming of Star Wars.

ShaneS

you publish papers on which galaxy far, far away it is.

ShaneS

you know the latitude and longitude of all the location shoots.

Artimus

You have not washed your Star Wars t-shirt in 30 years for fear of "wearing it out."

Artimus

You have a stuffed Ewok anywhere in your home.

Aubri

You use your home computer to insert yourself into key scenes.

Darth Amy

You are planning an asassination on Leonardo DiCaprio, just to be SURE that those Episode II rumors will NEVER come true.

Darth Amy

You've given serious thought as to why Yoda and Obi-wan dissappeared when they died while Anakin and Qui-gon didn't.

braindead

you buy two of EVERYTHING, so you have one to play with.

Surianne

Your car horn plays the theme song

Surianne

You hold midnight vigils for Porkins, positive that he really DID survive the Battle of Yavin

jsantwan

The only marathons you have are consecutive days of NOT watching a Star Wars movie.

Toad

...you wrote your thesis on the cultural significance of Star Wars.

Toad

...you've created your own religion based on the sayings of Yoda.

RainStrom

You refer to episode 4 as "A New Hope," and correct people whenever they call it just "Star Wars"

RainStrom

You are sure that your 20-year hunger strike is the only thing that convinced George Lucas to write Episode One.

Brian Kendall

You know the names of the entire jedi high cousel.

Standback

You've compiled complete dictionaries based on R2D2's bleeps and Chewbacca's growls.

Standback

You suffer from Xenopaternophobia - the fear that a stranger who enters your life will turn out to be directly related to you.

RainStrom

You can tell an authentic Mark Hammil autograph from a forgery.

Mark

You keep going to see "The Phantom Menace" to be sure it grosses more than "Titanic."

Mark

You found the movie "Space Balls" to be heresy.

Mark

You just KNOW George will do Eps. VII, VII, & IX

Galsan Blit

Your kids hate you because you keep stealing their Barbies and doing their hair in 'Amidala Style'

jshap999

You turn to the guy behind you in the theatre and say, "The 3 o'clock showing was much better."

jshap999

You begin to empathize with Darth Vader as just a guy who wants to spend more time with his son.

You wallpaper your bedroom with unopened Star Wars action figures

You try to use the Jedi mind trick on your boss when you're late for work.

You attempt to use the Force to clear the table.

Hobbes

You love telling your friends about the mistakes in the film two seconds before they happen.

Artimus

You went to see "Meet Joe Black" just to see the Episode 1trailer.

Hobbes

You still take a bath with the action figures.

T'Rowa

You meet Mark Hamill on the street and call him "Luke."

"T"

you agree that parsec are a measure of time, not distance.

Daki

George Lucas asks you if his ideas will conflict with his other movies.

RainStrom

You've seen and LIKED that Ewok movie

RainStrom

People refuse to play Star Wars trivia games against you.

Artimus

You take a picture of Leia to your hair dresser.

Artimus

You have more Star Wars stuff than Fox Studios.

Nobody

Youve actually tattooed your face to look like Darth Maul

AverageJoe

You've lost 10 girlfriends asking them to wear the gold bikini

Samurai Penguin

you know exactly how many times people have "had a bad feeling" about something.

Brett

You've gone to see the movies, each time dresses as a different character

Tim Nolan

You stick up publicly for Jar Jar and the Ewoks.

Corsair

You stopped entering the SevTrek comp when JC created the SevWars comp.

Corsair

You've calculated whether you'll be alive for the Cologne Wars.

John Fallon

You presuade your girlfriend to wear breadrolls on the sides of her head.

G.B.A

You actually directed your own sequel because you couldn't wait!

The Great Wizzard

... the "ReadMe" file of the software you publish ends with "May The Source Be With You" (almost true :=)

The Great Wizzard

... your answer to "I love you" is "I know".

The Great Wizzard

... you spend 3 days watching stills of "Return of the Jedi" trying to find the sneaker in the rebel fleet

The Great Wizzard

... you look up the sky at night and say "That's no moon, that's a space station"

Angu� McLaren

you get a part in the fan made film Dark Redemption!

Angu� McLaren

you can't resist annoying a Trek fan about how much faster and more powerful a Star Destroyer is than any Federation ship.

Angu� McLaren

Just before going into your exams you say, "I've got a bad feeling about this!"

ShaneS

you come out of your 16 year coma to line up for Episode1.

Alejandro Lee

Your mouth can fully synthesize "Duel of the Fates".

Alejandro Lee

You took a career dive to play the useless Jedi Master in Episode 1.

The Great Wizzard

... you watch the Muppet Show to wait for Yoda's cameo

The Great Wizzard

... you desperately try to get a business trip the the UK to be able to see "The Phantom Menace" before it opens in Germany (TRUE!)

The Great Wizzard

... you think Mark Hamill is a famous actor.

hteB

one or more actors from Star Wars have a restraining order against you

hteB

you always keep your hair in cinnamon buns

8 of 12

You have a sudden urge to wear lots of plastic.

8 of 12

You mug the guy who bought the first ticket.

Galsan

When election time comes along, you vote for Senator Palpatine

Galsan

You've had 'Darth Maul horns' surgically implaned on your head.

Galsan

You've painted a mural of Darth Maul on your wall.

Erik Hollender

When you wear paint, like Daft Maul, to work.

Surianne

You have plastic surgery to look like Vaderat the end of ROTJ and wonder why your wife doesn't like it.

Galsan

You can recite any of the credits from memory

Surianne

Every Christmas you ask Santa for some power convertors.

Surianne

You cried when Boba Fett died

Surianne

You actually mourned the death of the Earwax

Erin

Talk like this you always do.

Surianne

You own a copy of the Holiday Special and think it's actually quite good

Surianne

You own thirteen copies of the trilogy and alternate which ones you watch so you don't wear out the tapes

Surianne

You got kicked out of the chess club for ripping your opponents arms off

Surianne

You wrote your senior biology thesis on midichlorans

Derek

If you open your attic door you'd be washed away in a deluge of Star Wars toys.

Surianne

Your kids are named Chewie, Boba, and Ozzle

Surianne

Every Monday you say "I have a bad feeling about this"

Surianne

Your room is covered with glow-in-the-dark stickers to look like hyperspace

Surianne

You've made a Chewie suit from all your hair trimmings since 1977

Derek

You've been waiting in line for Episode I since 1982.

Derek

You write to video game companies with discrepancies in their games.

RainStrom

When you encounter someone who has not seen Star Wars, you act the whole series out for them

RainStrom

Everything you say is a Star Wars quote.

RainStrom

You've kept your weight at 110 lbs. for the past 22 years so you can fit in your replica C-3PO outfit!

Artimus

You wrote George Lucas's name on a Presidential ballot.

Artimus

The Star Wars theater has a seat with your butt-grove.

RainStrom

You know what ATM2's bleeps mean

Artimus

You havn't spoken to you mother in 30 years because she said "Lucas who?"

Artimus

You wear a flashlight on your belt.

CDR Soen

You have a bad feeling about everything.

Artimus

You were maried by a priest dressed up like Darth Vader.

Merrick

...your favorite fighter is the B-wing

Merrick

...you debate daily whether Boba Fett is a girl or a guy

Mikintosh

You're in line for Episode 3 already

Riff

You call your dog "Chewie".

Riff

You speak fluent Wookiee.

lizzyc

You've legally changed your name to Luke Skywalker

lizzyc

Your nickname is "The Walking Star Wars Encyclopedia"

lizzyc

You cried yourself to sleep when Obi-Won Kenobi died

lizzyc

You have accepted Jar Jar Binks

lizzyc

You have a reserved seat at the Episode 1 theatre

lizzyc

You skipped the SATs to see Episode 1

JacZ

You go to conventioan dressed as a Mon Calamari

lizzyc

You've financed half of the Episode 1 gross

lizzyc

You got asthma JUST so you could sound like Darth Vadar

lizzyc

You've built your own pod racer

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