erik
Beta's sliding scale of humanness this episode

MSD
Flashy Thingy. Beeping Whatumacallit. Squeking Thingimy. Random Info Generator.

Sinkau Baylan
Compact Mirror

Sanfam
Right: Locate plot. If none, create. Left Bottom: Teleprompter. Left Middle: Blinking light to simulate acting. Left Top: Emergency Plot Dump!

Qued Rebo- No, I don't have any idea what that means, either.
Lock Hollowdeck doors for obligatory Old West episodes.

Ted Rebo
Create temporal Whozamawhatzit

Admiraljquimby
Anomaly Generator

Scotte Bemeup
Extend Series by a Season

Corey Johnson
Popcorn Machine, Get Out of plot free card, redshirt detector, anti-intrest beam

Niall T. Johnson
Makes Funny Noise, SpeedDial, Vibration Alert, Connect to the Internet, Book Fliight Tickets, Pound to Euro Converter.

Steve Feek
Hide test results until dramatically required; scramble simple readings; emergency plot escape; declare the obvious

Rob Manias
Kill redshirt. Insert storyline. Current score of 'Pong'. Go to commercial.

Compdude
Sequel Spindler.

Sinkau Baylan
Snooze Button

Sinkau Baylan
Remote control for viewscreen

Andy
1. Instant cake dispenser 2. Delete word 'Anomaly' from history 3. Have a bun 4. Pep up British stiffness

me
Borg repellant

me
Vulcan ear janker

Seeker
tighten female crewmember's clothing.

Trinity
"Resurrect dead Jurassic Trek crew member"

MindMelda
Alien head bump analyzer.

Sinkau Baylan
Annoying character mute button

Elmo
Series Spin-offer

Paul.
"Failure to identify lifeform so that plot isn't reavealed to quickly" button.

Mr. Matt
Create Crappy Movie Button

Mr. Matt
Stereotyping Avoidance Mechanism (Prototype)

Mr. Matt
Fanboy Detector

RMS Oceanic
'How to speak with an English accent' - Francais Version

Mr. Matt
Thinly Veiled Earth Reference Detector

Mr. Matt
Alien Hottie Detector

Mr. Matt
Original Series Plot Recycler

K1chyd
Gene Roddenburry Grave-Turning Counter

chris
Resurrect character as Romulan

Dial "M" for Maul
"Damed if you do" , "Damned if you don't" , "Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a...."

Dial "M" for Maul
Translate Technobabble

Dial "M" for Maul
Negate Prime Directive

Dial "M" for Maul
Apply Prime Directive

echo
Activate improbable accent

echo
Erase physical law

star trek encyclopedia
Start Menu

star trek encyclopedia
Empty Recycle Bin

Jack Hammerfist
1. Political Corrector 2. Morality Preacher 3. Plot stretcher 4. Plausibilty Reducer 5. Touchy-feely Nauseator 6. Technobabble Scrambler

Jack Hammerfist
1. Lame-plot Introducer 2. Cheap Suspense-builder 3. Delayed Dialogue Readout 4. Technobabble Expander 5. Implausible Climax Generator 4. Sappy Epilogue Disgruntler

morgan
Download totally alien computer data.

RMS Oceanic
The 'Button' Button. Push it, and it acts just like a button!

Sinkau Baylan
Solution-to-any-imagineable-problem button

Sinkau Baylan
Dictionary of brilliant escape routes

Kristin Johnson
Initiate plot complications

Sinkau Baylan
Help button

Ooooh, my head!
Lower grey oval: Klingoff swearwords database.

Ambassador_Star
Button 1:Series Cancelation Alert Button 2:Contract Negotiation Beacon Button 3:Movie Deal/Merchandising Monitor Button 4:Sevtrek Convention Locator

Cmdr. Solomon
Stop Beta from blabbing on and on button, Shut Tryhard up button, Heavily/Tryhard's Mother early warning light, Create girl for Gaudy button(doesn't work)

Cmdr. Solomon
Create Distraction, Noise off-screen, Random off-screen enemy fire generator, random off-screen friendly fire generator.

DoggySpew
Unreadible whatshallicallitt, technobabblion translator thingy.

TEFII
Plot regurgitator.

Sebastian Fritze
undo last enemies action

Basti
BlockBuster generator

Cinga
Anomaly du Jour Selector

Cinga
Emergency Commercial Break Initiator

Haesan
Emergency syndication override switch (immediately generates a spin-off in the event of series cancellation)

yebo
Plot enhancer, Forehead buffer, Random sci-fi word generator, Destroy Universe.

admirably lost
expendable crew manifest

Sinkau Baylan
5-second ship fixer

Sinkau Baylan
Temporal incursion activator

Derek
"Divert enemy fire to nearest redshirt" button

Derek
Random Button: Press it and it does exactly what you need it to do.

Deranged_Kitsune
Particle of the Week readout

Jim
Technobabble thesaurus

EvilDevil
#1: Technobable Encyclopedia. #2: Universal Calendar. #3: Unimpossible Universal Translator. #4: Script.

Space Cadet
bleep, whirr, flash, change the laws of physics

Zathras
Graph that ALWAYS looks the same

cyberconch
1 Turn off help (paper clip) assistant 2. Start menu 3. Update button for latest patches (that dont work) 4. Reboot to safe mode

Michael Kraft
Reset button

The Penguin Weekly
Finger gobbler.

The Penguin Weekly
Achieve-sentience-for-plot button

The Penguin Weekly
Pop-up Ad demolisher!

Spiner
REWIND timeline, FAST FORWARD monologue, STOP evil deed, RECORD ratings (maybe use VCR symbols?)

Alex Cain
cliche generator

Alex Cain
gizmo,doohicky,watchamacallit,thingee

Alex Cain
foot massager,fingernail clipper,corkscrew,script writer

Alex Cain
Script . . . plot . . . agent . . . cancellation

Alex Cain
AM, FM, alarm, radio

Alex Cain
beeps . . . bloops . . . bells . . . whistles . . .

Save Ferris
Neilsen Ratings use of former Sev Trek characters detector

The Grand Phoenix
crediblity filter

TEFII
Plot point degenerator, Dialog regurgitator, Continuity Shredder, Character Shields.

Art DeBuigny
Exploding Console Remote Control

the Ragin' cajun
random plot device regenerator V2.01

Mammakins
What Women Really Want Decoder

talshiarHQ
Button 1:" French accent" Button 2 :"English accent" Button 3 :"Velcron accent".

talshiarHQ
"Made in Funginar"

talshiarHQ
"Kling Off/On"

RMS Oceanic
Jeri Ryan Screensaver

Kiwi Joker
Dead Ensign Detector

RMS Oceanic
Autocue (For when you don't know to 'Make it So')

Kiwi Joker
Rude Noise Maker

Kiwi Joker
Night Light

RMS Oceanic
Technobabblion emmiter

Kiwi Joker
Automatic Shirt Ripper

Nick "Naraht" Frame
Mini-DVD player, for those long away missions

Kiwi Joker
Dead Ensign Database

Kiwi Joker
Ctrl Alt Del Button

Kiwi Joker
Automatic Shirt Tugger

Kiwi Joker
Measley Cruncher Relocator

Kiwi Joker
Mute for Measley

The Great Wizzard
Clone character for next spinoff series

Jack Hammerfist
1. Sevspace Anomaly Generator 2. Character Builder 3. PC Directive warning 4. Excitement level reducer 5. Plot padder 6. Deux Ex Machina button

QoS
Lt. Beta - on/off

QoS
"Shakespears best quotes" button

subZonig
Alien Technology Plug & Play Interface, Arbitrary Function Generator, Random Particle Emitter, End-of-Episode Plot Resolver, Alien Make-Up Analyzer, Decorative Button, SFX Recycler, Electric Head Shaver, Insane Distance Locator

Ann E. Nichols
Maintain dignity throughout dumbest episodes/Ensure all but ensigns survive/Emit annoying squeal pitched beyond human hearing range so viewers stay awake/The Tryhard button -- purely decorative.

Leander
Alarm clock.

Taya 17 Janeway
Press Here To Bring Episode To Abrupt End

Taya 17 Janeway
Suspensor of Belief

Leander
Small mirror: In case you have a bad hair day.

Anonymous-42
LEFT, top to bottom: Plain tea to Earl Gray upgrader...Make-it-so start button...Cue-provoking punchline generator - RIGHT:Beam Measley into the sun button

Anonymous-42
LEFT, top to bottom: The Force concentrator...Truth out there scanner...Neutron flow polarity inverter - RIGHT:Last best hope for plot

Anonymous-42
LEFT, top to bottom: Technobabble generator...Plot filler...Beep noise amplifier - RIGHT:Lwaxative Tryhard proximity alert

The Great Wizzard
TechnoBabble modulator

The Great Wizzard
Diplomatic incident generator

The Great Wizzard
Alien forehead analyzer

The Great Wizzard
Emit high-pitched sound to appear busy

The Great Wizzard
PC directive violation detector

James Teale
Fancy blinkie; another fancy blinkie; yet another fancy blinkie; `insert two (2) A-A batteries here`

James Teale
Forehead bump meter; Ensign regenerator; Improbable Translator; panic button

Glorendil
Wierd "Blip" emitter

Shlamko
Plot Device

Shlamko
Daux Ex Machina summoner

Shlamko
Blinking useless light

MindMelda
Continuity evaporator.

Captain Sevway :)
30's detective lingo

Captain Sevway :)
Literature quote insertion

Mark
PC Translator

Transcora
(clockwise from topright) Pez dispensor, Mindsweeper, Plot Advancer, and Instant Messanger

Jo
Storyline resequencer

Mark
Dead ensign locator

Agent-D
"Technobabble refference guide" "On/off switch" "randomly flashing light that no one knows what it relates to" "captain Quirks little black book - 47th edition"

JC
Plothole compensator