The Pits - Round 321


		The Pits - Round 321 Here are the best punchlines submitted in Round 321 of the Pits Cartoon Contest. This week's winning punchline was written by Compdude. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the Toon Zone competitions as well as the finalist punchlines and Punchline of the Day Page.

MindMelda		1. I have found it! 2. Spiritual enlightenment? 2. No, the bottom of the sink!
Hanover Fisk		1. How does this harmonize the soul? 2. Hermanize. He said Hermanize the soul.
Dave the Explosive Newt		1. He was right.. 2. Yes: work sucks!
5618		#1 Feeling enlightened yet? #2 Light-headed is more like it.
Bobby		1:I told you we should have joined that other cult 2: Yeah even poisoned koolade has gotta be better than this
Smith_and_Wesson		Guy #1: If he loves being a slob, why are we cleaning for him. Guy #2: When we figure it out, maybe we'll be enlightened.
MindMelda		1. The Master says"Only through experiencing the cleansing of the house may we experience the cleansing of the soul." 2. Then how come HE's taking a nap?
TEFII		1: Now I know how the other half feel 2: And smell.
Jack Hammerfist		1. Found the lesson yet? 2. Yep-- work STINKS!
Dave Gold		The ultimate goal is to clean your spirit. But you can start with the dishes and the laundry!
Amy Sherman		1.Well, the dishes and the laundry have definitely reached a higher plane. 2.Don't make me laugh, I'll swallow a fly.
Michael Lewis		1) This plan stinks 2) Hey, we are on tv, so shut up!
aussietrekker		1. Washing the dishes will cleanse my soul!!! 2: And washing the clothes will purify my thoughts!!!!!
Griffin		1: I don't feel SPIRITUALLY cleansed. 2: I don't feel ANY kind of cleansed.
MindMelda		1: Feeling enlightened yet? 2: No, and my load isn't lighter, either!
Jack Hammerfist		1. What was that mantra he gave us? 2 "A slob is no one's fool..."-- wonder what it means?
Jack Hammerfist		1. What did he mean, "be a slob, not a fool?" 2. I think I see the light!!
Jack Hammerfist		1. Why can't he do this himself? 2. He can't touch soap!
Jack Hammerfist		1. Feeling enlightened? 2. Yeah, but it could be the fumes!
Jack Hammerfist		1. I KNEW he was a fraud! 2. Imagine-- WASHING things!
Eric		1: It's hard for me to believe that we're following in Wayne's footsteps. 2: That's because his footsteps never took him to the dishes or the laundry.
Phil Price		1:Hold it. How did HE obtain enlightenment? 2:By getting others to do his work for him!
Mark		1: How does he make things dirty without moving? 2: Its a miracle!
Mark		1: This is enlightening. 2: Let's quit.
Eric		1: Enlightened yet? 2: No. Just light headed.
Eric		1: I'll wonder if I'll get good karma from this. 2: His car is next on the list of things to clean.
Compdude		1. "A fool and his free time are soon parted." 2. Oh, shut up. [I forgot to add the second part :-b]
Compdude		1. So are you feeling ENLIGHTENED yet? 2. No, but these noxious fumes ARE making me feel kinda spacey...
Compdude		1. I doubt that "spin cycle" counts as a higher plane of existence. 2. Shut up and find me some bleach.
Compdude		1. "Anything you say, oh Great Guru." 2. Shut up and help me find the turpentine.
Eric		1: Are we on "the enlightened path" yet? 2: The only path in THIS place is worn into the carpet!
Eric		1: Any enlightenment yet? 2: Nope. A gallon of bleach and these haven't enlightened one bit.
Sheepy99		1: 4 years of college and this is what im doing?" 2: What do you expect with a bachler in Physics
Sheepy99		1: I think the guru needs to be "enlighted" 2:That means we pound him, right?
Sheepy99		1: I used to do this before I got here 2: Atleast then we got paid
Sheepy99		1: How can one so enlighted produce so much garbage? 2: It must be a gift
MindMelda		1: I could get this kind of enlightenment at home! 2: For sure!
MindMelda		1: Gee, this is worse than being home with Mom! 2: Yeah, except Mom cooks!
Brian		1. I think we've been had. 2. No flies on you!
Brian		1. This stinks. 2. Not compared to the "Guru's" wash !
Brian		1. What did you learn? 2. What the world's worst smell is!
Brian		1. I think we're losers. 2. Welcome to enlightenment!
Save ferris		1: What do you think of the Guru now? 2:Oh, enlighten this!!
Save Ferris		1: This is enlightenment? 2: Well, after this, at least his clothes will be enlightened of this stink!
Corsair		1. The true Guru wouldn't need this. 2. And these still have 2 wearings left in them!
Corsair		1. We don't do this at home! 2. Neither does he.
C1ofUnknown		1) I thought he LIKED the mess. 2) So did I.
A. Nonymous		1-Shame on Wayne's roommates for not doing this! 2-Yes, they are obviously complete slobs!
Leander		1: Oh no, not more! 2: Wayne works in mysterious ways.
Joona Palaste		1: Maybe Guru Wayne is wiser than we thought. 2: At our expense!
Alex		1:Surely loyal and lawful 'Guru Wayne' wouldn't put us through this ordeal. 2:I know. We're meant to be bludging slobs, aren't we?
Eric		1: Is this Nirvana? 2: No, just grunge.
The Great Wizzard		1: It wss too good to be true! 2: I told you he's a fraud, but would you listen?
8 of 12		Come and help me with the enlightenment! 2: I can't, I'm too busy with my own enlightenment
erik		1: Did you see Wayne and Lance laughing at us? 2: Yes -- they've already been initiated.
erik		1: Have you seen the light yet? 2: Yes -- and the guru looks a lot darker in it.
erik		1: Some guy with glasses is out there laughing at us. 2: Yes -- he said he's already achieved enlightenment.
erik		1: These celebrities all seem so great... 2: Until you smell their dirty laundry.
Amy Sherman		Have we had enough enlightenment for one day? Absolutely. One more load of this and I will actually be glowing from "enlightenment."
Amy Sherman		All these years I thought my mother was a whiner. Yeah, who knew SHE was enlightened.
Amy Sherman		He's DEEP alright... Yeah, we're up to our elbows in enlightenment.
JC		1: I'm starting to have doubts about "Guru" Wayne. 2: I'm starting to see the light myself.

Round 320 Round 322

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