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Here are the Finalist Punchlines of Judging Session #287.

Sev Trek - s578



In movies, the better LOOKING guy always wins.

My... shirt RIPPING strength... is superior... to your own.

No one survives who shows more of his CHEST than me.

Your D - N - A is no MATCH for my E - G - O.

I don't BELIEVE in the no-sequel scenario.

The NEEDS of the box office outweigh the needs of the villain.

Well why are you so obsessed? I'm not a big white WHALE you know.

Survival of the FATTEST!

I guess LUCK really does favor the bald!

Your spliced GENES are no match for my spliced hair!


Sci-Fi - s579



Objects may appear SMALLER than they actually are

Warning: If Thrown Out Of Window, Warrenty Is VOIDED

This crystal ball updates every 30 seconds. Do not hit "REFRESH".

Your call has been placed in a QUEUE...

Find ring to continue to next LEVEL.

To leave MESSAGE for Sourone, press 1. To spy on Dorothy, press 2.

Have you seen this ring? (PIC of one ring)

Warranty void if used for DARK Purpouses.

Warning, Major SPOILERS!


The Pits - p373



H: Are you gonna tell them WHERE? M: No. I want to remember them like this.

H: Not quite the REACTION you were hoping for. M: Wait 'til they get the phone bill...

H: Isn't this bad for your dad's HEART? M: He had it removed years ago.

H: I'm glad you told them. M: They could've at least WAITED until we were gone.

H: They're taking it well. M: WAY too well!

H: Do we ask for MONEY yet? M: No. Let their joy peak.

H: Is that the wrong way? M: Not like I MEANT it, but yes.

H: Is now a good time to ask for the LOAN? M: Oh, Yes.


Twist - t322



Look MA, no wings !

TRAINING wings.

The ANCESTOR of the penguin.

Junior ! Stop CHEATING!

"He hasn't been the same since he flew into a WINDOW..."

"First PARACHUTES, now this."

"My wings are TIRED. Is it my turn yet?"

What birds do on HOLIDAYS.

Leonardo Da Vinci's CARRIER pigeon


Sunday - ss36



Ten clone BOWLING.

Let's watch TV on the helmet!

You promised to take me to see the JUGGLING clones, remember?

Let's have a big FATT family reunion!

The same we do every day, father: try to take over the GALAXY!

EXPLAIN to me about the clones and the bees, okay?



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