The Pits - Round 135


		The Pits - Round 135 Here are the best punchlines submitted in Round 135 of the Write Your Own Pits Competition. This week's winning punchline was written by Dhraakellian THE Idiot Slayer. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions!

Standback		You mean that you don't know the TV schedule by heart?
Brian		Get it on the table STAT!
sHolmes		Well, the warranty expires in about thirty minutes...
TJ		about three sitcoms ago!!
Mosaic		Anytime in the next 60 seconds.
STJourney		Do you have one hour service like the cleaners?
Mike McCormick		When doth one need the beat of one's heart, pray tell.
Don Rae		What time is it now?
Don Rae		Can you turn back time?
Don Rae		Before the shock sets in.
RobRoy		No rush -- five, maybe six minutes.
Trekmaster		Does the term "lickety split" mean anything to you?
Mouse - jeffries tube 32		Last Friday!!
redshirt ensign noname		how soon can you get it fixed if you started now?
Knowlesey		Quickly Before I Start To Think For Myself
Ben		An hour ago.
Mouse - Jeffries tube 32		By the end of the commercial break!!
Mark		Every second counts!
Mark		There's a wait?
Mark		For the love of God! You can't leave it in this condition!?!
Colin		You mean you can't do it right this second?
Riff		Prime time!
Chris		As soon as is humanly possible, doctor.
lizzyc		Now would be nice
ZEAK		What do you mean when do I need it. I need it now!!!
ZEAK		I can't wait!
Namgubed the Merry Elf		I'm getting the shakes already, man!
Namgubed the Merry Elf		Babewatch comes on in twenty minutes!
JDSandara		Is yesterday too soon?
Artimus		Depends. How soon do you want me out of your store?
Artimus		Soon. I'm starting to forget the channels.
Don Rae		Before I have to deal with reality!
Don Rae		Can we watch you operate?
Don Rae		Before my eyes begin to focus!
Czarna		When it exploded.
Don Rae		Anytime before I go into spasms.
connie		Now! We'll be in the waiting room.
connie		Cant you do it now? Im getting the shakes.
connie		We'll wait! I have all day!
connie		There's no time like the present.
connie		How fast can you fix her??
connie		I needed it an hour ago!
connie		Ive got an extra five bucks for ya, if you'll start on it now!
Muffy		IT???? IT???? This is my baby!
connie		Look man, we are a one TV family.
Muffy		Can you refer me to a repairman who's not busy?
connie		If you make me wait for long , I may need a seditive.
connie		This is my only child. You must save her now!
connie		Ive got an hour or so before my favorite show is on!
Muffy		I can't go on much longer without it.
connie		Is right now to soon for you??
Joona Palaste		In a blink of the eye. No, make that half a blink.
Ilta		There's no time! It needs surgery stat!
Shlamko		While she's still warm.
Shlamko		Can we get it yesterday?
jshap999		Lance! Look at all the tv parts. This guys a monster!
jshap999		Take your time. Judge Whopper doesn't start for 15 minutes.
jshap999		Busy? It must be an epidemic.
jshap999		Well...The news is on for another half hour so I guess we have 'til that's done.
jshap999		It? Lance he calld her an it. I can't leave her here.
The Great Wizzard		Depends what's on right now.
JC		Can we wait?

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