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The Pits - Round 122

Here are the best punchlines submitted in Round 122 of the Write Your Own Pits Competition.

This week's winning punchline was written by Riff. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all four competitions!



Quip
Now THERE's a broad question...

PotatoKnight
I would answer but punchlines are supposed to be short

connie
I think hes happy because he will be spending the rest of his life with us.

connie
I wished I could turn down his volume!

Quip
I don't know-- well I do, I just don't care!

lizzyc
Expressing his feelings a bit too late

lizzyc
Neither know nor care

lizzyc
I don't know, but I think we should eat out tonight

lizzyc
Doing what he was told

crazeyal
Burger girl got a clue

Chop
Maybe he finally realised what a loser he is?

Brian
He calculated his statistical probability of finding a new girlfriend!

G.B.A
He's late with my laundry too!

chris
He's trying to drown in his own tears.

chris
I don't know... when he started using three-syllable words, I tuned him out.

chris
Shh! Less Herman, more Baywatch.

chris
In a strange twist, Burger Girl left him. Now he's in the pits.

Quip
His heart-drive crashed!

Clintswife
Off hand I'd say he's dehydrating.

Bill Castner
I don't know, but I don't like it.

Wade S.
His girlfriend decided she'd rather date a human.

Wade S.
If I could remember, I still wouldn't care.

BigBryan
Oh, he´s just realized that we are his only friends.

Tim M.
Whatshername is marrying whatshisface

Quip
Nothing we didn't know when he moved in!

Quip
He failed to count his blessings.

Quip
She realized he wasn't the last man on Earth!

Sam Peirce
Herman isn't her man.

Quip
I sent a geek to do a man's job!

Quip
His girlfriend sobered up.

Quip
Either he got dumped, or he just watched ET again!

Colin
He wasn't invited to the wedding.

Quip
He realized he had dinner with her parents for NOTHING!

Quip
There's not enough paper to make THAT list!

Quip
Just turn up the TV and it'll be fine.

Quip
Beats me-- he said he couldn't express his feelings, but I'd say he's doing a fair job!

Quip
He's making it hard to hear the TV!

Quip
I suggested we go out for burgers and he flipped!

Quip
Dunno, he engaged a Raoul-burger or something...

Mosaic
Post-traumatic-date syndrome

Don Rae
The ritual of manhood - his first time dumped.

Don Rae
His last egg fell out of the basket.

Jason
Nothing turning up the TV won't fix.

The irrepressible Zordauch
Geek stuff

risk one
Ignore him and maybe it'll pass

mgeoffrey
Reality Bit.

mgeoffrey
He realized who he really is

Jor
I don't think he'll go out for burgers again.

Maddog
He just lost his reason for living

Riff
What isn't?

Williamson
I dunno. Something about Burger Girl getting married.

Liz
Nothing. Let's crank up the volume

Nintendo Guru
I counselled him enough. It's your turn.

Nintendo Guru
I don't know, but he's drowning out the TV.

redshirt ensign noname
i dunno, i wasn't paying attention

Nintendo Guru
Oh, just the usual heartache and rejection.

Jeremy
Nothing important.

Brian
He just proved Einstein's theory of Raoulitivity.

Brian
I think he sprung a leak!

lindzee
What's right with Herman?

JC
He's expressing his feelings.


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