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This week's idea was suggested by Captain Treklin.
Sev Trek: The Comic Strip

Zephyr Cockroach! One of the cheesiest lines of First Contact was that "you're all on some sort of Star Trek" from Zefram Cochrane. Now there's a line that needs a sevilised response!


Other Punchlines

These comics are created from the winning entries of Sev Trek TV Cartoon Contest. The winning punchline was written by Wiesel. You can read the transcript of the IRC session where we decided the winner of all the competitions.


Bill Harris

A master of the obvious! No wonder we all worship you!

Panza

So you finally read the script!

Jafo Madred

Watch it, that phrase is trade marked!

The Chia Rhino

Yes, And we do conventions too!

Josh "VampHunter" D.

Shut up, you wanna get sued for copyright infringment?

The Traveler

You have know idea how much we get that. . .

Greg

Yes, but I'm sorry, no autographs.

Mike Howell

Y'know, I always wondered where that title came from!

CrazyLady

Hey! Look who just caught-up!

Hartstone

Action figures available on request

Hartstone

That'll be $50,000 for breach of copyright, thanks.

NeonLizard

Could you turn a little and say that into the camera?

Harley Cat

No, we're really actors pretending to be on a Sev Trek

G.B.A

Shhh.... don't blow it.

G.B.A

Are we still rolling or what?

Jenna

I know you are, but what are we?

Wes

No, we're actors looking for better writers.

NeonLizard

So I guess that makes you an "Astro-Nut"?

NeonLizard

"Outer-space-explorers" In the future we're politically correct

NeonLizard

Ah! So it was you who came up with that!

mouse - jefferies tube 32

That's what the script says!

JDSandara

Autographs are five bucks buddy.

Jeff Jones

We prefer the term "space heroes"

MindMelda

Great! Our hero is a crotchety old boozehound!

Cmdr. 8472

An' it's all based on the dream of an alcoholic with a weird hat.

EvilDevil

history may remember this...

8 of 12

A star trek maybe. What's sev?

Wendee Rae

Don't listen to her, it's the sauce talking!

Wendee Rae

Some of us are. Others are just here to look pretty.

Wendee Rae

We prefer the term 'Space Cowboys'.

Flagg

Just shoot him and lets get on with it.

Mark

And you're the first Trekkie!

Griffin

Now our politicly correct future is assured.

shmuel

shhhh don't use those words, they are trade marked.

NeonLizard

Gee took you long enough!

Neonlizard

If there wasn't any PC directive I'd answer you

Neonlizard

And you're a plot device

NeonLizard

The history books never wrote about this!

Kirk's Wig

Dibs on the title and royalties to "sev trek"

talshiarHQ

Dina, remember me to cut out these scene later.

Panza

You've been reading the credits, i see.

MindMelda

Hey, we were saving that for a plot twist!

MindMelda

These fanboys are everywhere!

Mindmelda

And you must be in charge of exposition!

Blanch

Those were Kirk&Co, we are just diplomats on some kind of déjà vu

Agent-D

We're on a Trek alright, but what the heck is a sev?

Tom Hyde

I'm from Alaska. I only work in outer Sev.

Trevor Raggatt

One more line like that and the Bored can have you!

trex

So which do you prefer - the original series, or us?

trex

No, we're from Sevivor. We just needed some sort of cover story.

trex

As if.

trex

And to think that at the Academy they told us you were slow ...

trex

There goes the Best Screenplay nomination ....

trex

Is this an odd or an even number?

trex

Did Shatner script this one?

trex

Actually, we're Mormons. But if we told you that right away, you'd never have let us in, right?

trex

If I had a dime for every time I've been asked that question ...

trex

We're selling encyclopaedias star to star, to get us through Starfleet Academy ...

trex

We just said that to get an appointment. We're actually with Amway.

trex

Wow - reality check! I feel like I'm in The Matrix!

trex

You're sure this man invented the first contact lens?

trex

The temporal police are gonna kill us when this gets out ...

trex

Did this man invent the Warp Drive - or the Credibility Gap?

trex

That's right. I'm George Jetson, this is my wife Judy, my boy Elroy ...

trex

He's onto us. Geordie, confuse him with some technobabble while I grab his autograph.

trex

No, we're from the Immigration Service. Heard you're expecting visitors ...

trex

No, Zephyr, we are your fairy godfamily, here to grant you one wish ...

trex

Ixnay on the ev-treksay. The Borg have ears everywhere.

Qui-Gone Gin

Everyday at 7PM!

Plain Simple

Don't remind us.

Powerlord

Here's a tip: Never let a counsellor drive a starship.

Powerlord

Tryhard, do you detect any sentience from this being?

Powerlord

Actually, it's a trek through the stars, but Sev Trek has a better ring to it.

Powerlord

Yes... Say, do you happen to have a spare warp coil?

Powerlord

...and I thought Tryhard did the mind reading.

4 of 5

one word for you: RISA

ecgric

No, I'm an actor on a directing trek.

David Hibberd

At least we aren't some hack writer's cheap way of working the series title into the movie.

Captain Treklin

Yep, we work for Sevfleet on a Sevship on sevdates for no pay.

Peter Kasperski

Yes, and you own a talking pig

EvilDevil

i love shameless self promotions...

Kathrin

No we are all Sevfleet Officers on some sort of Sev Trek.


Wow that is really deep I'll have to remember to use that sometime.

Damian

Want to see my contract?

Sirrta

Phone Gene ! We've got a title !


Now there's a line that belongs on the cutting room floor.

Ann E. Nichols

Woh -- that's as corny as your accent!

Wendee Rae

That can't be right, it was too easy to understand.

Wendee Rae

If Pinchhard had put it that way his speeches would've been a lot shorter.

Wendee Rae

We're just here to take measurements for your statue.

Forester

Yeah it's become quiet a franchise.

Paddy

hmm, Sev Trek, that'll make a good title for a TV series, Tryhard, make a note of that

Mark

And you will fall in love with a colourful cloud.

Mark

And you will get shorter and more muscular.

Mark

Heh, heh. Next, you'll be saying "Engage!"

Atona

You know, you just 'invented' us

The Traveler

Boy, they sure know how to write 'em, those script writers...

augustdragon

Sev. . .? Oh, crap, we're in the alternate universe!

augustdragon

Yep, we're astro- - astro- - what you said.

Cmdr. 8472

Yes. I'm the token smoothie, Tryhard is the token useless bimbo, and Gaudy's the visually challenged guy who saves the day.

Hanover Fisk

Nice tie-in. Your 10,000 credits will be deposited tonight.

Lurker24601

If by 'Sev Trek' you mean 'Desperate Bid for Continued Employment', then yes.

ScottE Bemeup

I'd rather live among the stars than in a bottle.

ScottE Bemeup

I can see that your engines aren't the only thing warped about you.

Blackmaine

And you're drunk... On some sort of bourbon...

Alex Lampe

Another satisfied fan...

Mike Howell

Well, in my case, it's more like "babe trek!"

Space Katet

Right now it's more of a Sev Hike...

Cmdr. Solomon

Yes. We're on a mission to stamp out individuality before the Bored do.

Cmdr. Solomon

No, we're bad actors, getting paid way too much, to do some lame movie that'll probably suck, but still make millions.

Kalahari Karl

Well, yes, except for the ensigns who get killed every episode...

__K__

I suppose you wouldn't believe us if we told you we cruise around in a big plate propelled by hot-dogs...

Admiral Kyle

Not really, we just sit around messing with time.

Rick Hay

Yes, and you must be the washed up, drunk hippie whom we idolize.

Lorn

Some even say that we are the next generation.

jdwiseman

You took the words right out of someone else's mouth.

JJGauna

Aren't you?

jdwiseman

Yes...It's a good trek this time around, the last one and the next one suck.

Dolphin

Yes, and we are about to go back in time and inspire a TV writer, all we need is a name

Rick Hay

Yep! Except we don't use tequilla as a fuel source.

Dolphin

We prefer the term Earthly challenged on a off-world stroll

Rick Hay

That's Right. Hey, way to plug Sev!

Captain Ginyu

He's a Trekkie alright.

Trevor Raggatt

Yup, we're boldly going...

Trevor Raggatt

Wonderful. Our only hope and he's a Trekkie!

SESS-PITY

actually I'm a beardonaut, she's a knownothingout, and he's a weirdeyesout.

Voiceroy

So you're an alcoholic?

Voiceroy

It sure beats walking everywhere.

009

Well, me and geordi are, I don't know what she does...

DS

and your some kind of drunk here on earth

Petzi

No, we are actors who get no other jobs.

Tyrrogan

Except on weekends, when we're the Sevfleet galactic poker champions.

Mike Howell

"Sev Trek?" Whaddathink we are? Geeks?

derek

SIR, you are the first TRUE astronaut..." hey RIGHT THAT DOWN someone"!!

Tim Sleep

Yes, and we bring you the gift of... FIRE!

Tim Sleep

Yeah sure, why not? Your too liquored up for anyone to believe you anyway.

Viserov

Don't make me phizzer you again.

Viserov

Have you watched the show before?

Viserov

He knows too much. Take him away boys.

football2g

Damn! How'd he find out?

admirably lost

and for the million dollar prize what's the subtitle

neilinoz

And we're cursed to never do anything else beyond it - except if you're bald and love Shakespeare.

Sevanonymous

*snort* "Sev Trek"...yeah, right!

Polgara

Yeah, seek out new chicks... I mean LIFE...blah, blah!

chrifgo

No, we're all astrologers and predict you to be famous.

Heather Nova

Yeah, but 'D here spends her time lookin' pretty for us REAL Astro dudes!

Raven

Yep. By the way, have you ever heard of Gene Rodenberry? How about John Cook?

Heather Nova

Actually, we never really go anywhere too far from home... the 'Trek' bit is overstated!

Warpmind de InzanE

Well, one of SEVeral...

Khalas

Yep.. we're here to force a contact on you.

neilinoz

Sounds pretty WARPED heh?

Loki

Write that down Doyawanna, we could use that!

Loki

What gave us away? The Betazoid or the guy with artificial eyes?

Loki

Ooops! We've contaminated the time line, again!

Loki

Doyawanna, get my phizzer. This guy knows too much.

Powerlord

Only on weekdays, Sev Fleet regulations and all....

Powerlord

For the fifth and final time, yes!

Powerlord

We boldly go where no one has wanted to go before.

littlestar

Well, I was going to introduce myself as "Willing Piker, Space Adventurer", but that's close enough.

littlestar

Yeah. And it's YOUR FAULT!

littlestar

Yeah. And it's all thanks to you!

littlestar

Abso-sevving-lutely!

Potswilly

Any other trek wouldn't be "SEVilized"!

Cassandra

I know, I know, it's a dumb name, but we've got to live with it...

Nodrog_CRC

And we have first contact... with the series name.

Potswilly

No, Zefram, I am your father!

Spiner

Just call us "Trekkers".

Spiner

Tryhard, I think he's on to us.

AndieX

Yeah. Only problem is no one knows what 'sev' actually is.

Michael

Welllll... I was thinking "Wagon Train to the Stars" would be a catchier title for my memoirs but you could call it that too, yeah...

Jonnyroth

WHAT! Ok who's been leakin' info again.

The Great Wizzard

Hey, Doyouwanna: your perfect partner! He also tends to state the blindingly obvious.

Cmdr. Solomon

Well, she's actually Eye candy, me and Gaudy are the astronauts.

redgamma

no no no no, actors on some sort of budget cut

Cmdr. Solomon

Well, actually we're here to force you to conform to our standards of Morality.

Heather Nova

Yeah, we seek out new civilisations, hit on their women, drink their beer.. you'd like it!

Kalahari Karl

Well, come to think of it, yeah!

Derek

We prefer the term 'planetarily-impaired'.

Briareos

I prefer to think as a galactic "groove" train. Oops, this isn't the 1960's! Dang manual is out of date!

Neonlizard

Hey! That's a cool line! Why don't I get a line like that?

mouse - jefferies tube 32

No, we're the next generation!

NeonLizard

Hey that's got a nice ring to it!

Blue81

and you are some sort of hippy on some sort of trip?

WooHoo

I am, what she is doing I don't know...

TEFII

Thanks for giving me a title for my memoirs.

Harry Kim's lover

would you believe me if I said Yes?

Shlamko

Either that or really bad actors.

§Sean§

yeah, and our ship broke down. Wouldn't happen to have one handy would you?

Number 0

Now I know where this movie's title came from

JC

Yeah. In fact, hey, catchy title there!

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